I had the idea to kill myself by taking aspirin and alcohol. I got it from Girl, Interrupted. I relate to that character so much I feel like I should do what she did and blurt out my crazy and just move on from selfish morose drowning. People are throwing me lifesavers and I’m swimming to the deep end.
I took the Tylenol I had and drank a bunch of whisky. I toppled out of the strip club I attended and didn’t wait for the cab they called. I walked to a store to get some water and gulped the little baggie of pills and went on my merry way. I don’t know how far I got but I blanked out and collapsed head first into the pavement. Police officers woke me up sometime later, I had puked pink all over the sidewalk. A large pool of pepto marking my downfall. A thoroughly embarrassing moment I wasn’t even aware enough to appreciate.
Out of mind out of sorts, I took that emergency ride to fret away in another hospital. Cursing myself for not doing better and looking for helping hands. So much confusion and emotion wreckage, keeping anything straight is impossible, like a gay teen in bible camp.
The help works a little wonder but the damage comes back full effect, mass effect. Trip hopping my way to darky la la land full of discord and dodo mentality. You meet plenty of different people and share more than you do with friends. I’m a but tight lipped with my dark secrets so only a trifle was let loose. Positive steps are the worst when you’ve lost the way.