New Self

You have to get over it. The beatings, the humiliation, the tainting teasing terrordome aggravations lashing away at the temples. All that inappropriate touching you’ve made a bigger deal out of. You think you’re the only one? All those poor unfortunate souls living with past atrocities licking its lips at horrorshow imaginings, recapitulations of dog eat dog childhoods and those dreadful teen years. Not just awkward but shameful to say the least. Every flaw magnified by self and putrid peers. The breakdowns, the animal violence frothing at the leash.

I have calmed, I have house-trained that broken boy into submission by omission. We all do that, we all block out communications of unsightly, ungodly, unsettling remembrances. The invisible scars showing in the mirror as we self-evaluate. Standing there taking in what monster we have become, this Frankenstein experiment pieced together from emotional wreckage and solice. Addictions, conflictions, poor coping skills cemented into daily life and toil. Doing jobs with cantankerous, calamitous weights dragging us evermore into the degrading abyss. Hope yet it seems. We leave the shelter to strengthen ourselves. To bask in sunshine just beyond the foggery. She said the sun will come out, I hated her then, I believe in her now. This supposed birthday resolution may work out anon. May yet this mortal coil blossom into fruition. May yet the dark cloud attain silver linings.

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