You’re being medium. You’re easy on yourself and hard so much of the time. You feel bad about those breakdowns and getting all teary-eyed in public as the negative memories cascade through your visual mind. You’re a sensitive artist man! And a fuckin poet for godsake. The light in the loafers fairy king epitome of the feminine man, mystique costs extra. Whaddya expect from yourself? Some action hero martyr type from the movies that got stuck in your brain? You can’t be feeling your emotions and giving in to the hurt that sunk inside you? Is not pain and humiliation always looking for avenues out of the hole you dump it in? You don’t want to be another emotionally stunted, aggressive, uncaring manchild like the meatheads out there. You will have nothing to offer then. Feelings are important. They are the gateway to the evolution cycle that will raise this species out of the lizard brain gimme gimme mentality that plagues us. The gravity of suffering pushes the brute out of the bog of inertia.