Technology Filler

I was taught you try and make due and live with what you have, don’t waste and don’t overdo it. That my family did not always follow this creed is another matter. We were poor and a somewhat spoiled. In Canada, like the rest of the world, kids get the mix, sometimes you have kids that get what they want usually and don’t have that sorrow and missing out on so many things their friends have, the overwhelming feeling of being lesser. Other kids struggle for scraps and grow up without and get the chip early, some can call that motivation for greater things, or consumerism building blocks. I got the middle of all that and my parents saved and busted and gave us what they didn’t have, the immigrant experience as it were. But I learned from that, I tried to always be frugal and spend less than my “glory they be gold in dem hills” pops, buying to fill the void of work, being emasculated from the firings and shabby treatment he felt he got. You can’t be in good standing and high status everywhere, you move to different careers or jobs and you’re lower rung, plain and simple. So the spendthrift and thrifty was in me into me.

I was careful with my income for a long time, had good savings and got some nice toys for myself in the process. When I was working it was easier for me to save and restrain my money tossing. Now that things have taken a turn and I have less in my life, or more in some ways, I tend to spend to make up for supposed losses. Amazon is my good friend, my interest in tech has come back hard and for good reason, the things now are so powerful and better mostly I just want it, like men wanted ankles in the 1800s. I hold back the reins to not be blank account though there’s still spending, carousing, waiting for opening day on new purchases. I know the psychology, the risk, the filler that never satisfies, and I still yield to consumption, perusing the deal sites and checking for price drops on the next big buy. There’s better things to supplement my days but I lose the interest or knack for it, feel ghostly haunting the living warm bloods and taking them into my folds for brief attention span lovin.

It’s good though, I like being a nerd I like being into something again. I’d rather be a futurist than a cynic pessimist. I’d like to dance the Grim Fandango on the Playstation Pladium platform psionic chips and RAM up the wazoo. Human heat is still the best but processors and HD content be nice for standby.


I like it. That pain I gain from hedonist masochism, froth at mouth for licks and closed fists. Slapping kinda acceptable but lovin the hard shit. Bash me thrill me use me baby abuse me lady. Got a target under vest like an S on ma chest, super man Clark Kent into nerdy persuasion, into fem domination. Hurt me hurt me, stab a little for kinky, get dem boots and torment me beautifully.

Pay the femmes for the punches for hard dick awareness. So little uprise and nether awakenings, dead all get out I need the black and blue debasement. Don’t go too much, no total abandon, no mistress plannin’, no ball crush sad men. But I dig the hits, I feel it all, sugar assault me be the sadist. S&M main feature only slightly faded. Give me love give me cuts give me physical treatment, batter the chest and dig nails in back end. Jack off the ripper skin, flesh a thin line between pleasure and pain, such sights to show you. Pinhead the pin prick bleed me shameful.

A woman that cuddles me, a woman that beats me, the way I like the hard and soft repeat. Psychological trimmings dangle effortlessly, issues and thick skin covering the bruises, tenderness confuses, mad hulk arouses. Squeeze me and choke me, I need to feel something.