Guiltlove

She shud be able to enjoy it
Flow after retirement
Ease from lacking office
Less stress less tests
Knock down meds
Big heart be damned
Bio complicated interfere her
Enlarged aorta no kill her
Strong like bull and stubborn too

Ppl sick from worry bout sickness
Bouts of ill
Listless
Fuck de bucket list
New fuckit list

Give ease
Alms to mater
Madre malady
She deserves more than we give her

You try and make up for the years of horrid treatment. Sure there was such tears dampening my soggy shoulders, but amid the adolescence there was the selfish anger. Roiling teen cursing mum, curse god world Mississippi goddamn. Lacking heart for familiars and stressed her test she took it with wavering strides cause her heart was so big. Always felt bad, guilt, guiltlove, sick with love and now abstaining.

This shud be her time
Life owes her
Ppl owe her
We owe her
But she takes less n les
Stupid motherly love

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Teller Pen

If I was really honest I’d let out the whole soul. Expunge this grimy mansion of secrets and lies, lies, oh the tumultuous turmeric deception staining my worn blue collar. Spent and respent dishonest hiding seeking sweet chili relief. Pulled pork anxiety smothered in glaze.

Hungry.

Where do I begin beguine? Top upshot dribble stubble handsome visage, look at me looking at the mirror, perpetual vanity, compact narcissism. Stare at dying eyes in deceitful glass cage, Johnny cum lately, bukake mess, fluffer distress.

Gross.

Trumpet my arrival, get an eyeful of awful trifle. Spiteful with the venom, purple toxin blood thinning. All about me so I hate myself for that. Born to make em happy, people pleaser jokester riffs. Guffaw goof offs, five year plan shot to hell, we need more cowbell Ferrell. Laugh with the world and it laughs with you. Laugh by yourself get stares and committed.

Le sigh.

Don’t remember what I wanted to say, spray, yell from yeti mountain tops. Avalanche drops. Down I go with words in tow, wrapping myself in verbiage to hold back the soul crusher; cascading colorwand dapping lost reminiscence while I find the beat. Lost the soul man, just lost. Desert highway usher my way, in control but HAL at the wheel. IBM secret clues blues, see spot run, Clifford red rum.

Confused.

What shall I get out from this box? Any mysteries hiding beneath the faces, perimeter the area. Cubed! Hip so hip, hip hop fading, preacher k-os pulpit speaking, MC murda. Ja rules no longer, the mean average grown stronger, spears chucked at brit tannica, cycle pedia past foot race. Now just a ramble, ransacked creativity in disheveled cranium. Don aluminium hat so fitting, I’m winning. Sheen coat on charlie horse. Rat race, dog race, mane race, human race. Racism, atheism, classicism, spiritualism. Attack of isms. Is Ms. this kiss? Of death of dragon, Jet flight Li filler. Lee bruise and beat, where’s the beat? Music’s my world, my spirit, lemme hear it, lemme feel it. Feel something.

Cold.

Emotional numb making the best of it. Laughing nights with heavy spirits, licka liqs. LCBO hobo future self laying low. Loco combo, see myself at hack show, failed writer sumo. Mediocre fat sack, eat feelings suck that. Blowjob whore core bore, asexual economical, cheap pharmaceuticals. Welfare self-aware, self-respect laissez-faire. Push a pusher Pushkin, damage cycles cyclone . Twister twist summer skin.